Words Hurt

I have learned to say thank you when someone compliments me, even though it’s not my first thought. My dad never learned to say anything nice. I don’t think he meant to inflict the damage on me, my siste’s and my brother’s psyche. He did though, because we felt fat. I felt ugly even after my freckles lightened, I got my braces off and didn’t wear glasses for many years between. I also felt stupid. I have to remind myself that I am the only one in my family who graduated from college. My dad told me when I graduated that out of all his children he never expected me to graduate. I think he meant it as a compliment, but that is not what I heard. I heard that I was dumb.

I just want to let you know that you are not alone and it is possible to change your thoughts. My brother worked hard at not being like our dad with his kids and didn’t allow them to call each other names, nor did he. I am proud that he figured out that words hurt long before I did.

I hope all parents make their kids feel that they are important, can do anything they put their mind to, and that they are beautiful. Bullying comes from all places. When you judge someone based on their looks, when you call someone four eyes because they wear glasses, and when they struggle in school and you make them feel dumb.

I got my dad into trouble with Sister Thomas Miriam when I was a senior in high school. She wanted me to apply for grants. I told her why should I my dad says I’m too dumb. Boy did she let him have it. I wish I could have been there.

It’s not too late to heal your broken psyche. I try to think something positive about myself every morning. A friend said to list all your accomplishments along with everything you’ve overcome. Your list will be longer than you think. Write a list of all your positives, you may have to look past your discomfort to see them. Write your negatives down, and then next to them write a positive or what you can do to change it. There are many more exercises that you can do to help you change your perception of yourself. The hardest thing for me to do was to say thank you , when someone complimented me. Rather than arguing or brushing it off, simply say thanks. If you need more help get counseling or google exercises that you can do at home.

Everyone is beautiful and perfect. We are all individuals and different! Being different is a good thing. We’d be boring if we were all the same. If there is something about you that you still don’t like, you can change it. I don’t meant change your face, because you are beautiful. Don’t argue with me, you are, but that too can be changed. It’s just not necessary. Overcoming our thought processes will help so much more than plastic surgery can. Even with plastic surgery we are still the same broken person underneath. So we need to change how we think of ourselves.

You are all beautiful! I hope you are spin free.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita