Sunday, August 11, 2019

The Upside of Depression

What Upside? I can hear the question as I type this.  Bear with me A moment. Depression is not easy. It’s not anything that you want to keep around. It makes me irritable and explosive. My emotions jump all over the place.



So how can depression have an upside? My muses seem to be able to talk to me when I am depressed. But you blog all the time... yes, but when I blog I am talking about myself or things I have experienced. And if you knew me, you’d know I talk a lot. Blogging is just an extension of my voice. I have always wanted to help others. I hope my blogs get through to at least one person.

I am writing again, not just blogging. Hopefully, I’ll turn out something readable. So though depression is awful for me and those around me that take the brunt of my mood swings, I am doing something.

I dabbled in writing here and there the past 7 years since my second husband died, but nothing has really gotten me to put my butt in the chair and my fingers on the keyboard, except for depression. I am not sure why I am more creative in a depression. I know logically that I should be able to write when I am happy.

Maybe it’s that I don’t make the time. When I am depressed I can’t be distracted by other things. I seem to have tunnel vision when I’m in a depression. Good for writing, bad for everything else. Maybe I’ll snap out of it soon. I was not even aware that it had crept in, until this morning. I woke up grumpy having slept very little. Maybe the fact that I recognized the depression, I will soon be out of it.

Mine is cyclical and not as devastating to me as some people’s depression is to them. We are all different, even our disabilities are different. We each exhibit and deal with depression differently. For me keeping busy helps. Occasionally, I need medication to snap me out, but it’s been awhile since I’ve been on anything.

So, I will use this time to listen to the voices in my head, so I can tell their stories and mine too. I have been pondering writing a book about me, so I can reach more people than I can here. Hopefully, by getting back in the habit, I can continue writing even as the current depression ends.

I hope you are spin free!

Love, Peace and Light! Rita




No comments:

Post a Comment