Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Depression: The Downside

Today I feel useless. I can’t do anything right. I’m too dizzy to try. Mini spins are too frequent for me to feel comfortable out by myself. I am afraid. 

Afraid that I am not needed. Afraid that everyone would be better off without me. Afraid to live. I am afraid. 

I am so overwhelmingly sad. How do I go on when I think everyone would be better off without me? Ralph’s friends don’t want to hang out with him, because of me. 

I feel utterly alone. I wish my emotions would stop so I couldn’t feel this pain. Numbness would be preferable to the pain of feeling as if I don’t belong in this world.

I know this is the depression talking, because I am happy when it’s not present, but today I am sad. I hurt and it’s no ones fault. It’s only a matter of time before it ends. Unfortunately, others have been at the end of my explosive emotions. Usually I can laugh things off, but depression takes that ability away. 

I wish I was different. I wish I wasn’t living with this pain. I wish that I didn’t cause others pain. I wish I could be who you want me to be. I wish I could be who I want to be.

I am just so very sorry for everything. Today I am sad.

1 comment:

  1. Hello, I have browsed most of your posts. This post is probably where I got the most useful information for my research. Thanks for posting, maybe we can see more on this. Are you aware of any other websites on this subject. adhd psychiatrist near me