Suck it Up

I was fighting waves if vertigo and feeling sick to my stomach in this photo. It’s the face of an Invisible Disability. 

It’s one thing for me to plow on through my symptoms, but you telling me to suck it up is quite another. If I say I can’t do something then I mean I’m at a point that I cannot push through. So don’t make me feel worse than I already do.it will just give me anxiety and make my symptoms worse. 

There are days when I just need to stay in bed. There are other days I want to, but don’t. Sometimes the slightest movement causes my head to go into what I call a mini spin. It doesn’t last long, but the unpredictability of them is enough to make me wary of doing anything. 

The anxiety of not knowing if this will precipitate a big attack is debilitating in itself. I try my best not to give in to the anxiety, because it’s a sure way to trigger an attack. 

So you telling me to suck it up could hasten me into an attack. I already feel inadequate, because my house is a wreck. Because I can’t do everything I want. Most days I cannot even drive to do things I enjoy.

Believe me I enjoy getting out and about. I just cannot always manage it on my own. I feel more secure with someone who knows what I face by my side. Just in case. 

I will keep trying and I hope you understand when I cancel plans or can’t join you on the spur of the moment. It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because I could put myself or others in danger (if drive). 

Thank you to those who offer to drive me. And ask questions about what to do in case of an attack. I really appreciate you.i hope none of you have to experience this. 

I hope you are spin free. 

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

#invisibledisabilitiesawarenessweek