Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Changes


Life is full of changes. Some good and some bad. How things turn out is up to you. My life changed on December 20, 2012 when I had to make the hardest decision I have ever had to make... I put a DNR on my husband and he died a little before 8 am. 

I was devastated. The reality of my situation was dismal. I could have just curled up in bed and stayed there. Fortunately, friends wouldn’t let me. It took me a bit of time to find a new normal. I joined a weight loss challenge, which I won. (I basically had cereal or eggs for breakfast, peanut butter for lunch and soup for dinner.) The Y-City Writers and the art community kept me busy. I took yoga, an exercise class and meditation too. A much more peaceful me emerged.

Then I had a dream that this guy Inhad a crush on when I was 12 kissed me. I messaged him on Facebook and told him. He told me to go back to sleep to see how the dream ended. That made me laugh. One thing led to another and on February 25, 2017 I married Ralph. If God sends you a dream, you might want to pay attention.


Though I have been diagnosed with Ménière’s Disease since 2000, it had been in remission from 2011-2017. Now things are changing for me again as I am no longer in remission. I know the outcome of the disease is bleak, and things are difficult for me, because I have very few good days. Most days I feel drunk without touching a single drop, You know the tipsy, fuzzy head feeling...  On those days which is most days I cannot drive. So I am reliant on others to take me places. 

I choose to live my life. With my head feeling this way I could easily curl up in bed and rarely get out, but I don’t. Now if I have a full on vertigo attack that is a different story. Some days I have non-visual vertigo, which makes me feel like shit...  But it is nothing compared to seeing the room spin. I didn’t remember what full on vertigo felt like, but now I pray that I never have it again. 

How do I do things? I just push through the dizziness, but I am rarely alone so it’s not as scary as doing things on my own. On good days I run errands on my own (yes I drive), but it’s always in the back of my mind that an episode might start. 4 good days one week, 1 the next and today I had a few good hours. 


II digressed from my original thought about changes... Some changes I chose and others were thrust upon me. Some were very bad and others were good, but the end result is that I became stronger with each change I went through. I will never give up. I choose to enjoy life. 

Have a spin free day. 

Love, Peace and Light!

Rita

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