Tuesday, December 18, 2018

What’s Happening?

I have been a bit quiet lately. The holidays are especially difficult for me, since my second husband died on December 20, 2012. It seems grief blocks my writing processes.

I still haven’t began writing like I used too. The words come when I sit down, but don’t drive me crazy like they used too. Yes, I heard the voices of my characters all the time clamoring for attention on the page. I had to write daily. 

The depression or grief is an ever present fiend that insinuates itself into my life. It makes me cry for no reason. I find meanings in songs I never guessed before. Like Of Monsters and Men’s song Little Talks. It made me burst out into tears one day as I realized he was dead. 

A commercial about a porcupine who was lonely... Tears flowed when his friends got him packing peanuts for his quills. Imagine what those old AT&T commercials would do to me today. 

Plus I was dealing with vertigo attacks. Not my usual  full blown attacks, but short spins multiple times a day. They were coming without warning. All my attacks do, but these were worse because of the randomness. 

Now that my ENT put me on a water pill the mini spins are almost nonexistent. I still get dizzy and off balance and the tinnitus never shuts up. And the middle of last week my hearing dropped out for a couple of hours. That was scary. Thankfully it came back. 

I got new glasses on Friday. I was so excited and happy to be able to drive myself to pick them up. Then I try them on. Suddenly the walls start going all wavy on me. The technician said it takes time to adjust to progressive lenses. I can use them some days better than others. It hasn’t been a week yet, but the days I use them is awesome, because my eyes don’t go blurry in the evening. 

I have been keeping busy. It keeps me from sinking further into a depression. We went to Big Dogs for their Christmas party. We danced and laughed. Ralph entered an Ugly Sweater Contest, but didn’t win. The little old lady with the light up sweater won! 

We’ll be going to a VGK game this week. I’ll be meeting friends beforehand and Ralph will join us when he gets off work. 

Cheers to you! I hope your days are merry and bright! And spin free!

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

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