Yikes my head feels like it’s going to explode. It’s not just the migraine per se, though it’s not helping. It’s my cicadas screaming in my ears each on a different level and tempo. It’s the fuzziness inside my head clouding my thoughts so they have to push through to be heard. It’s the brain fog that muddles my mind and loses the words. It’s my equilibrium being messed with by some internal force. Some days it’s swaying, sometimes it’s spinning and other times is visual.
There are triggers for some of it. Salt, lights, sound, patterns, motion... some days none of the things affect me and other days they all do.
Through most of this life continues. I go out with friends and family. I am good at walking mostly straight. Sometimes someone will notice that I am flushed, but more times than not I don’t have any outward symptoms, unless you see me walk to one side or another.
I have taken vestibular therapy which I continued to practice on my own even when I was in remission. Remission for me was no vertigo or dizziness. I still had some balance issues and the tinnitus never leaves. I became good at pretending to be normal.
The dizziness and vertigo (non-visual) are so frequent that I cannot drive myself places. I need to ask for help. I have had maybe 3 days this month that I wasn’t experiencing some form of dizziness or vertigo. It’s been almost.a month since I had the full on vertigo attack.
Full on vertigo for me means that I could see the room spinning. I fell when it started because I was slammed backwards and there wasn’t a wall to catch me.
That episode has made me more anxious than normal. I usually can control anxiety and panic attacks by breathing slowly, visualization, relaxation and meditation.
I fear there is something new going on. My Mitral valve prolapse has been triggering dizziness. Someone suggested POTS. I need to call my doctor, but I am still waiting to get into an ENT and my Gastrointestinal Doctor. Insurance sucks. Why do they get to determine if I need a specialist? Shouldn’t my doctor determine that?
Still through this all I try to smile.
This is me on Sunday during an episode where I thought I might be ready to have a full blown vertigo attack. I was scared as I didn’t know what was happening. Luckily leaving the stimulation of noise in the church helped. This may have been a panic attack, my mitral valve, or an attack of vertigo or all three combined. Fortunately it did not escalate into the full blown vertigo.
I went home to bed and rested before going to my in-laws for Father’s Day. Yesterday (Tuesday), I enjoyed a movie with a friend. My brother drove me, because I was dizzy or spinning all day long. There was a scene in the movie where the cameraman spun around instead of keeping it still and letting the dancers spin that bugged me. The rugs had swirly pattern that made it slightly difficult. I didn’t even attempt the escalator when we left, because I’d had a slight problem when we arrived.
I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend camping with my love.
I hope you all are spin free.
Love, Peace and Light! Rita
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