Errands

I haven’t been able to run errands, because I am not allowed to drive while dizzy. It’s frustrating not to be able to jump in my car and buy cat litter, get takeout or visit a friend. I can’t even make plans because I don’t know how I’ll feel. Thankfully I have friends who understand that I may have to cancel.

After a bad week with full on vertigo and mini vertigo episodes, not being able to move my head without getting dizzy, I finally felt normal. It took me a few hours to realize that my head wasn’t foggy, nor did I feel dizzy. Except for my tinnitus, I felt as if I never had this disease.

I was almost giddy to be able to run to get my meds filled and pick up a few things that I kept forgetting to ask my husband to pick up. I had to tamp down on the panic that I felt rising. I know panic and stress are triggers for my attacks, so I needed to do some breathing exercises and then I distracted myself by singing along with the radio.

Can you believe I went to the store twice and forgot cat litter? Having this disease makes me appreciate the little things better. And I appreciate my family, especially my husband who run my errands and drives me when I need to go somewhere.

I hope you are spin free.

Love, Peace and Light!
Rita

Saw Escape Room

With much trepidation I joined my friends at Egan & Company Butcher Shop for this escape room experience. I had still been having short bouts of vertigo and lots of dizziness since my full blown attack the previous day, but I rested and slept most of the day. So by the time we left for the experience I was more steady on my feet.

I have a fear of being trapped, but with my hubby and friends there I was fine, so no panic attacks ensued. The picture above is in the bathroom from the first “Saw” movie or rather a very good rendition of it.

I wore my blue light filtering sunglasses which helped with the strobing lights. I should never go anywhere without them. If fluorescent lights or the blue lights in car headlights (I can’t think of the type-brain fog.) bother you these will help tremendously. I still didn’t look at the strobes, my feet were much more interesting. LOL!

There were times I was unsteady and dizzy, but my cane helped a bit. Yes, I am willing to make accommodations so I can live my life. I refuse to stop. I did that once for several years because of Ménière’s and Fibromyalgia. Never again!

Anyway, you have to solve a series of puzzles to get from room to room. Sadly, we all died. Yes, you read that right Jigsaw got us. They let us out when we failed to release the actress who was in the bathroom with us, since all must leave together or none.

It was fun trying to figure out the combinations and gizmos to get to each room. I fear we wouldn’t have gotten very far if not for the actress and the couple who joined us in our escape. We solved 4 out of 6 puzzles.

I hope you are spin free!

Love, Peace and Light!
Rita

Stop the World I Wanna Get Off

That is how I feel today. Vertigo has taken over. It began about 4 am when I was slammed backwards as I was attempting to feed the cats. I fell across the bathroom into the water closet. Somehow I hit my rib on the door jam as I fell. I think my body twisted. The vertigo has hit hard and  fast and has only eased a bit in 4 hours.

I remember when the vertigo first began nearly 20 years ago my doctor suggested putting a foot on the ground. I probably rolled my eyes, because he said it helps some people with vertigo. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help me.

My eyes are bouncing and I am trying to do one of the exercises I learned in PT (physical therapy) or as many call it VT (Vestibular Therapy). So far nothing is helping.

Rest and time are the only things that will help. I have taken my meclizine. It no longer seems to help me much.

The most frustrating part of this is that I had plans to go to a movie, casino and lunch. I hate that I am unreliable, but I cannot help it. We’ll get there another day just not today.

I live an amazing life and will continue to do so. I will continue to listen to my body (today it’s screaming at me) and rest when necessary and enjoy the good days.

I am glad this bout happened at home. I am not sure what I would have done if I’d been out somewhere by myself. I rarely drive anymore, because my head is frequently foggy and I am dizzy quite a bit of the time.

I have said before (maybe not here) that I didn’t know which was worse... the non-visual vertigo or the visual vertigo. (It had been so long since the visual vertigo. I have had visual disturbances with the walls moving up and down.) Visual vertigo is by far the worst, seconded by the slamming backwards and drop attacks.

I am going to leave you with this. Me this morning when I fell. Have a spin free day.

Love, Peace and Light!
Rita

Tests, Trials & Tribulations

I have been having issues with pain in my abdominal area and throwing up. I have lessened the throwing up by eating smaller bites and smaller meals. I have had blood tests and an ultrasound to try to determine what is going on. 

I had to get rides to and from my ultrasound appointment yesterday, because I was dizzy. Fortunately, my family stepped up to help. Fortunately, the vertigo held off until evening and only lasted about 4 hours. 

I hate driving, but I hate not being able to drive more. The lack of freedom is disheartening. If someone drives me I can pretty much handle the day to day dizziness. With the uncertainty of this disease I won’t take a chance that I could have a vertigo attack when driving. I certainly feel more sure of myself when I’m not alone. 

Even walking by myself or with two small dogs is a scary prospect. That may be anxiety rearing it’s ugly head or common sense. If I fall when I am out who would help me?

I have had years of practice appearing to be normal. I don’t always walk like a drunk, unless I am experiencing vertigo. Occasionally I tilt and hug walls. I am grateful that the walls are there for me. That is why taking a walk is scary, because there is nothing to catch me.

I live for the good days and listen to my body and head when I need to take it easy. I am fortunate to have a husband, brother and sister-on-law and friends who get me out for some fun. I won’t stop living, but I will be more cautious. 

Here’s hoping everyone reading this is spin free. I’ll keep you filled in on my test results. 

Love, Peace and Light!

Rita 

Yanny vs Laurel

What do you hear has been taking over the internet. How can one word sound different to so many people? If you haven’t seen this here is the link.,, Yanny vs Laurel.

When I first listened I heard Yanny. When I listened the next morning I heard  Laurel. My guess is that my hearing is fluctuating as I go bilateral. (I think the Ménière’s is now in both ears.)  I have had a rough few days since this began. You may have noticed that I had 4 good days in my last post. It was just the eye of the hurricane that has been my normal since I went out of remission in December of 2017.

I have good days and bad days. Usually, I just feel dizzy and foggy. Not so the last couple of days. I am actually experiencing vertigo and a change in the loudness of tinnitus in both ears. Usually my left ear is quiet. It has hummed (like locusts) since the beginning of this MD journey, but the right ear usually drowns it out.

The left ear is making itself heard by humming on a different frequency than the other and it’s a tad louder. Fortunately, I can still hear, though some noises hurt my ears and I have to have the volume on tv or radio lower. It makes little sense to me why I can’t stand louder volumes.

I know it’s hyperacusis, but this term is new to me, though the pain, discomfort and discombobulation I feel in some situations is not new to me. I have often had difficulty concentrating when too much stimulation was present. I just thought it was part of ADD.

I am trying to prepare to lose more of my hearing. I hope I don’t, but I am trying to prepare. It seems to be different for each Ménière’s sufferer and I have been lucky to retain most of mine since I was diagnosed in 2000.

There are no good answers as to what I can expect. I know that my hearing is fluctuating and there re changes that I can hear. I can tell by listening to the Yanny vs Laurel how my hearing is at the moment. I’ll just take one moment at a time and enjoy the good days, push through the bad days when necessary and rest on when I can.

I hope you all are spin free!

Love, Peace and Light!
Rita

4 Good Days

Finally, I’ve had four Ménière’s free days, except the tinnitus, tipping and a bit of a flare when it’s bedtime.  I got my haircut, dyed it myself and went to the grocery store. 

On Friday I followed Ralph to a car place to get his breaks replaced and took him to work. I did laundry and picked him up. We met a friend for dinner at Lindo Michoacan. And then back to pick up his car.

Saturday we watched a childhood friend of Ralph’s play darts. I got a tad annoyed that this woman stood very close in front of me, so that she would occasionally touch me. Okay more than a little annoyed... I thought about lifting my knee, but she would’ve ended up in my lap. 

“I have mean thoughts, but would never act on them. I just want to show you that I am human with all the same feelings as everyone else. Just because I have bad thoughts doesn’t mean I act on them, unless I am writing and then I can.”

This sign greeted us as we were leaving the parking lot of the Plaza. We then grabbed a bite to eat at Smashburger. I am pleased to say I finished most of it without pain. Smaller bites is the answer.

Following lunch we went on to the corporate challenge walk to represent JW Marriott Resort and Spa. I made it the whole way, but I am still tired today. Here are before and after pictures of me.

Don’t worry I am not sunburnt just hot. 

Alas, my Ménière’s free time is at an end. Today my ears are full and I am rocking back and forth. I hope I am able to get another good day and/or days soon. I may have overdone things yesterday. Or the recurrence may be due to sinuses, I seem to be losing my voice. “Ralph likes it when I lose my voice.”

Today we celebrate Mother’s Day with Ralph’s mom, Virginia. Then I rest. 

Have a spin free day.

Love, Peace and Light!

Rita

Website

I had to renew my website last week. I paid in full for five years. I hope I remember to ask about payments next time.

I like the looks of it on my phone and my computer. I used pictures of me from 4 years ago, before I regained my weight. I happen to adore the picture of me on top of the baby grand piano, so I used it. If I tried that now the rickety old thing would surely collapse.

Ralph hates that picture and I don’t know why. Perhaps he thinks it’s goofy. What do you all think?

I usually use updated pics, but most of my current pics are selfies or have Ralph and me in them. I might get creative and set up my Canon Rebel to take a more professional photo of me.

Now I need to start rewriting all the novels I have written. I think the world might enjoy them. Okay, maybe not the world, but my niece will. And she is the world to me, so I guess that counts.

Have a spin free day!

Love, Peace and Light!
Rita

Weather

I used to love the rain, especially a thunderstorm. I would sleep like a baby at night. I loved playing in the rain. Occasionally you might have heard me singing, Singing in the Rain, albeit badly. There is a freshness that comes over the earth after the rain. 

Now, the change in pressure sends my Ménière’s into overdrive. I have been constantly dizzy for the past two days. My ears have been ringing off the hook and the sound changed to a higher pitch more steady ring. Normally it sounds like a bunch of cicadas. This morning though still loud, the cicadas are back. Thank goodness!

As you can see, I was awake from bout 3:30 am on and off. I think the reason I have been sleeping this well is the CBD oil. I used to average 4-5 hours a night. If nothing else it definitely relaxes me. I take the CBD oil without THC, because marijuana gives me migraines. I have had less migraines since I’ve been taking the oil too. 

I hope that my dizziness goes away soon. I am housebound when Ralph’s at work, because I cannot drive when I am dizzy. Even if I tried the visual stimulation would make me nauseous. (Or is that nauseated?) I think I have it right. 

Hopefully, with the weather returning to normal I can get back to normal or as normal as I can be with this disease. 

I think of this song when I am dizzy. Dizzy by Tommy Roe. It also brings back fond memories of when I would sing it to my niece as we whirled around. That was before Ménière’s. Now I wouldn’t want to do that. 

Have a spin free day!

Love, Peace and Light!

Rita