I Beg to Differ

Since when has it not been okay to disagree with others? That is what makes this one of the greatest countries in the world. Just because someone doesn’t believe the same things as me, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends or family. 

My entire family are Republicans... Then there’s me. My dad calls me a bleeding heart liberal. I say so what? Do you love me less, because I think differently than you? You and mom raised me to think for myself and that’s just what I do. 

Can you imagine if we lived elsewhere, I might have been disowned or even killed for my radical thoughts. Now we hear daily about “fake news”. It is our jobs as citizens to sort out the real truth. 

I have been told by the one who shall not be named that I can’t believe something I’ve heard with my own ears, I cannot trust my own judgment. This country is being gaslighted. And it’s time to stop.

Make informed decisions... Don’t just side with the masses. Don’t hate others for having a difference in opinion. Instead learn from them. Usually the truth is somewhere in the middle. Trust your eyes and ears, they don’t lie to you. Go with your gut. And if that means you don’t think the way I do, at least you’ve put some thought into it. 

This last election has made it difficult for many of us, because we fear our rights might be stripped away. So be kind to others when we disagree. Remember some of us are coming from a place of fear. The most important thing to remember is human decency. Don’t judge others. Love your neighbor as yourself! 

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

My Life Is About To Get Crazier

Beginning this weekend we are headed to Universal Studios. Before that we are celebrating Ralph’s Birthday for the second time this week with his co-workers tonight. Despite my protests we are going to Dave & Busters. I have been Ménière’sy lately, so not sure how I will adapt to the noise overload with all the flashing lights. I have my blue light filtering glasses and earplugs ready.

Tomorrow which is Ralph’s actual birthday I am ditching him and going to see Barry Manilow, which gives Ralph an excuse to get Cracker Barrel.There is much on their menu I can eat.

Friday we are headed to LA. We are going to see the stars and on Saturday we’ll go to Universal Studios. Harry Potter World here I come.

We’ll have a weekend at home and then are heading to Sacramento. I am going to try to meet up with a friend from Ménière’s Worldwide, but not sure, since we won’t have our own car. 

Finally at the end of the month we’re flying to San Antonio, because Ralph won a stay at a hotel there. We’ll meet up with an old high school friend of mine. And see the Alamo too. 

There should be lots of pictures and YouTube videos coming up to entertain. Well, they entertain us anyway. It’s all for fun. 

It will be a great testament to my fortitude if my MD doesn’t try to drag me down. I still haven’t had a major episode since May. I came out of remission the day after we went to Universal Studios last year. My anxiety has been high, which is a trigger for MD. I try not to fret about it, but it’s been niggling at the back of my mind. 

In between I have a stress test and I get to wear a halter monitor. Maybe the cardiologist can figure out why my heart rate is so fast. I thought it was the Mitralvalve Prolapse, but it didn’t show up on the ultrasound. I don’t see him until January. Yikes, I hate the waiting around. 

I hope you are spin free.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

More on Managing My Anxiety

You know from my posts that I suffer from anxiety. I chant the Serenity Prayer Frequently to remind myself that I cannot control every situation. I certainly cannot control others. What I can do is control the way I react. I need frequent reminders, especially when anxiety and/or depression strikes.

Some days my head won’t stop racing. All the thoughts run at the speed of light to drag me down. I have to consciously change my thoughts. That is why reciting this prayer and making it my mantra to repeat over and over. Also, I concentrate on one thought when I’m meditating to let it go. I hope I haven’t put an ear worm in your head like I just did in mine.

Today I am struggling more so I wrote my own prayer out. I am pretty sure it’s borrowed thoughts from some remembered things I have read. So I am not claiming it and it can be shared with others.

If you have ways to deal with anxiety that I haven’t mentioned and may not even have thought of let me know.

I put this on my blog page at ritalsmith.com. I want to share with you all too.  Here is a direct link to the prayer. 

God is good. 

God is great. 

Please help me eliminate negativity from my LIFE! 

It begins with me.

And ends with me.

Give me peace.

Let me give peace. 

Don’t allow others to run over me. And don‘t let me hurt others.Let’s make everyday a BLUE SKY DAY! 

Even in when the sun is hidden from my view.

Thank you for everything you do!

I hope you are spin free.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Anxiety

Anxiety is an inttense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. It doesn’t always make sense and anything can trigger an anxiety attack or panic attack.

You may experience a fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired. Sometimes it’s just an obsessive pervasive thought that won’t let go. 

Every little thing that you perceive that you did wrong, every thought and action, slights real or imagined are magnified until you cannot function. Sometimes a panic attack is the result, other times is not as clear cut. 

There are things you can do to deal with anxiety. Meditation, deep breaths, mindfulness, avoiding situations that cause stress. These work well if you recognize the symptoms. 

Sometimes, it sneaks in and it’s much more difficult to use coping skills to get through it. At these times some anti-anxiety medication help. Especially, when it’s big brother moves in too. I am talking about depression. 

For me they often go hand in hand. At these times I may say and do things I would never do when you are healthy. Especially when the source of my anxiety is a person. 

Unfortunately, my mind would like to kill them off. Fortunately, I am a writer and I can do so vicariously.

 “Killing them off verbally is just a metaphor for cutting off negativie people from your life.

Eliminating negativity from your life is good. Often it’s not possible. So, finding new coping mechanisms is good. Keep busy, limit their involvement in your life. Meditation and relaxation techniques are very helpful. There are tons of YouTube Videos to assist you. 

The main thing I do is concentrate on my breathing. Breathe slowly in through my nose and out through my mouth. If my mind wonders (and it does often) I just start thinking about breathing in and out. To help me sleep I do a relaxation technique of tensing and relaxing starting with my toes and ending with my head. 

Anxiety has slipped up on me and I am having difficulty letting it go. I will continue to apply my techniques, but may have to ask for a bit more assistance. It’s time to get my Zen on. 

I hope this helps someone. And I hope you are spin free.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

At The Mercy of...

It’s a sad situation when you cannot drive. I always hated driving, but it was so much more convenient when I could. I have very few days that Ménière’s isn’t affecting me. On those days I try to catch up on errands like getting my hair done & getting toiletries, medication, etc. 

Unfortunately the goods days aren’t always in sync with what needs done, so I rely on my brother or husband to transport me. I hate it. I hate Ménière’s. I hate being dependent on others. How do people get by without a license or car? 

Today I needed a ride to JW Marriott where Ralph works, so that we can meet friends for dinner tonight. The only time that was available was at 11:30 am. I got here about noon. Ralph doesn’t get off until at least 5 pm. (It’s budget season, so all bets are off as to the time he gets off.)

I had lunch at Promenade Cafe. Did an hour long live with my friends from around the world in Ménière’s Worldwide. Had a frappe while I charged my phone. Took some pictures as I walked the grounds and casino. Now I am waiting in the car. Hopefully, the hubby will be here soon now. 

Yes, I still walked. I am sure I looked drunk, since I tilted a lot and stumbled a bit. I couldn’t have driven for safety of the public as the world keeps shifting today. Not a vertigo attack thank goodness, but hard to deal with nonetheless. 

It’s fortunate that I love this place and can find things to keep me busy. I would love to be able to drive myself whenever and wherever I want, but that is not my reality. I am dealing with it and still finding enjoyment when I am a bit inconvenienced. I’ll try to keep on smiling through my frustrations. And laugh at myself when I tip over. I keep trying to convince strangers that I’m just practicing my ballet moves. 

I hope you are spin free!

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Thankful Thursday

It is important to take some time everyday to remind myself that I am thankful for so many things. You might think with all my whining about health issues that I don’t enjoy the good days. That I don’t appreciate the good times. I am thankful for all the things I can still do. 

I do not have things as bad as others. Though I have symptoms, I rarely have the debilitating vertigo that used to keep me in bed. Only once since I came out of remission in December has that happened. It used to happen on a much more frequent basis. I am thankful for this. I wish no one had this, but I am thankful that I’ve not been worse.

I love traveling and am thankful that I am still able to do so. I love going to concerts and I am thankful I still have most of my hearing. I love that if I need to stay in bed, I can. 

I am thankful for my wonderful husband who is trying to understand this dreadful disease. He listens when I say I cannot do something. And is nearby when we are out in case of an emergency.

I am thankful for my pets who cuddle with me daily especially for grounding me during my full on vertigo attack or even the mini spins. I never realized how important grounding during an attack is, until the mini spins began. It helps me concentrate on something besides the room spinning around. Sometimes it’s difficult to focus on one thing in the room, because it keeps shifting. 

I am thankful that I’ve never had a major attack in public, though Disneyland was close. It just wasn’t the full on vertigo attack. But it was worse than the mini spins. It was a different type of vertigo where everything shifted up and down instead of the spinning. Anyway I am thankful that my full on vertigo attacks have always happened at night or upon waking. It’s safer to be in bed.

I am thankful for each and every day of life. I am thankful that I’ve found ways to cope and have things to assist making life easier. 

I am thankful for feeling God’s presence in my life. I try to see him in every aspect of it and in people. Some people make it difficult, but I hope God is present in them too. I am thankful that I feel I may have finally let go of hurts whether intentional or unintentional. 

I am thankful that I had a dream about a kiss. It has led me to where I am now. 

I hope you are spin free!

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Suck it Up

I was fighting waves if vertigo and feeling sick to my stomach in this photo. It’s the face of an Invisible Disability. 

It’s one thing for me to plow on through my symptoms, but you telling me to suck it up is quite another. If I say I can’t do something then I mean I’m at a point that I cannot push through. So don’t make me feel worse than I already do.it will just give me anxiety and make my symptoms worse. 

There are days when I just need to stay in bed. There are other days I want to, but don’t. Sometimes the slightest movement causes my head to go into what I call a mini spin. It doesn’t last long, but the unpredictability of them is enough to make me wary of doing anything. 

The anxiety of not knowing if this will precipitate a big attack is debilitating in itself. I try my best not to give in to the anxiety, because it’s a sure way to trigger an attack. 

So you telling me to suck it up could hasten me into an attack. I already feel inadequate, because my house is a wreck. Because I can’t do everything I want. Most days I cannot even drive to do things I enjoy.

Believe me I enjoy getting out and about. I just cannot always manage it on my own. I feel more secure with someone who knows what I face by my side. Just in case. 

I will keep trying and I hope you understand when I cancel plans or can’t join you on the spur of the moment. It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because I could put myself or others in danger (if drive). 

Thank you to those who offer to drive me. And ask questions about what to do in case of an attack. I really appreciate you.i hope none of you have to experience this. 

I hope you are spin free. 

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

#invisibledisabilitiesawarenessweek