I am writing this post to help release the feelings I have had on this subject lately. There is a reason I was so despondent when the current president was elected and the current accusations are dredging it up all over again. I hope by posting this to not only release my residual feelings, but to help others.
MSNBC reported that 1 in 6 American women have been raped. 70% of cases are unreported. 99% of perpetrators walk free.
If you are a woman and haven’t been harassed then you have been extremely lucky. I’d say most of us & some men too have been at least wolf whistled at and have foul language hurled at them. I walked quickly by and was called a bitch in response. I was 20 years old in college, but this wasn’t the first time.
Playing house with the neighbors and going into the closet with the oldest son is something I have blocked out mostly. I remember going in, but not what happened.
Then there was the time I was invited to someone whom I was interested in and he shoved his penis in my mouth. I was in my early 30’s.
Why didn’t I report? That is a good question... embarrassment, guilt and not wanting to deal with the accusations that I’d asked for it.
I even forgot all about it, until these women came forward with their stories. I think if the people who did this to me were running for public office, I would speak up too. Just to make sure nothing like this happened to others. My silence may have cost others their innocence.
Another reason to not come forward is that instead of the men accused of rape being put on trial, it’s the women who are put on trial. Ie. she dresses too suggestively, she talks about sex, she went over willingly, etc.
If I were to walk around naked it is not an invitation for someone to harass, molest or rape me. It’s ridiculous to say girls must cover up, because boys get distracted. Has it ever dawned on teaching boys about self control? If they cannot control their impulses, maybe they should be locked up. Really teach them right from wrong and that women are not sexual objects.
And I am not easily offended. I talk about sex, I even enjoy sex, but that is my choice. You don’t have the right to shout obscenities at me, to grab my ass or to rape me.
Someone asked if your brother or husband was accused what would you say... I’d ask who, what, where, when and why? I really don’t know how I’d react because my husband is one of the best guys I know and so is my brother.
Unfortunately, the burden of proof lies with the women and shame or not knowing better has washed evidence away. There are many guilty people out there who have not been held accountable for reasons like I have stated.
If all the information came to light, it could ruin careers. Is this fair? I ask was it fair this stuff keeps happening? Everyone who has suffered has carried it with them from that point on. It colors everything they do. A life sentence if you will...
Think about it before you dismiss what has happened to someone just because it happened a long time ago. If the accused was really sorry they would have sought out their victims and apologized. Can people change? I believe so, but they haven’t changed if they deny and throw dispersions at their accusers.
Love, Peace and Light! Rita
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